It’s Valentine’s week and every year I get hopelessly lost in the red, pink, glitter and hearts. I love love. It’s really easy for me to celebrate this holiday with my husband and children.
But this week I got a phone call from a girlfriend. Out of the blue (to me) she told me that she and her husband are getting a divorce. That they were speaking to the attorney tomorrow. She was telling me how she was worried about custody issues of their child and my heart was literally breaking as she spoke the words to me. Our friendship is extremely long distance… we had lost touch in the past and just recently began talking again… so I was not in a place to ask questions about the how, what or whys. In fact I am not sure that I need to know. I promised her my prayers. And honestly that is the most important thing I can do.
In our book club this month we are reading Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. The book is about how to view marriage as a catalyst as a way to make us holy, not happy. And I feel compelled today more than ever for each one of us to encourage one another in our marriages. Because it isn’t easy. Because our spouses see every single one of our imperfections and we live with theirs. The feelings that we had- the infatuation- when we fell in love are no longer front of mind in the everyday monotony of keeping the kids fed, clothed, and bills paid. But there is something so very special in marriage that is worth fighting for. Especially if you have children. That bond that no two other people can replicate. Their mom and their dad. Together. The security of knowing that even when the going gets tough that leaving is not an option.
We HAVE to start looking inward and changing our own ways. Praying more. Praying a lot more. Because not one of us is perfect. And the way to perfecting a marriage is to practice humility– giving up our prideful nature of always putting self first. Today I ask you please pray for my friend. Pray for your own marriage. And put humility into practice. Because our children need us to be together.
And I’ll end this with a question. How can we encourage one another in marriage?